Winter Of My Life . . .

I have always enjoyed autumn, it is the best season of all. Crisp cool days. Breezes blowing colorful leaves throughout the air. I can finally wear a sweatshirt or jacket and be comfortable. Fresh snow on the craggy peaks. Anticipation of the upcoming holidays. Cozy evenings by the fireplace. A time to slow down and reflect of the past.

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This year as I sit here in the middle  of the winter season and look out at the cold sunshine I began to think. Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems like yesterday that I was young starting my career and family. Yet in a way, it seems like a lifetime ago, and I  wonder where all the years went. I have lived them all and have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

But here it is, the winter of my life in reality. I guess it caught me by surprise, oh how did it get here so fast?

Where did the years go and where did my youth go? Reminds me of the song “Where have all the flowers gone? Long time passing . . .”

Throughout my years I saw older people thinking that those older people were years away from me. The fact is—my friends are retired and getting gray. I look at them and they are older now, some move a little slower. I can see the change. I  am now one of those older folks that I used to see and never thought I would be there. Almost everything is an effort now, just taking care of myself. Taking a nap doesn’t seem like a treat anymore but a necessity.

Well, now I must come to the realization that this is final season of my life for I have lived through spring, summer and fall. I am unprepared for the aches and pains and the inability to go back and do all the things that I wish I had done. On the calendar the winter season has a predetermined set of days. In life I don’t really know my remaining days. Two or three years, 12 or 20 years? I do know, that when it’s over on this earth…it’s over. 

Regrets? Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn’t done and things I should have done . My one pleasure is knowing there are many things I’m happy to have done. Spring, summer and fall, yeah I was busy.

If one figures there are twenty years to each of the four seasons of an average life, think where you are as they come and go quickly. Whatever you would like to accomplish in your life do it now.

Of course we never have the promise that we will see all the seasons of life so live each day to the fullest. I realize my children are becoming me. I get a little forgetful at times—I like to think it is just all that data in my memory banks overflowing.

I look at my clothes in my closet, I must have several sizes of clothes. Heck, I will never wear most of them.

Getting old is enjoyable in some ways, I daydream of the good old days, old songs, old movies, old friends, playing outside and other antics. A life much simpler than now. No worries then. Life was eternal.

I remember my Father-In-Law in  his winter season of life. He always had ripe bananas in his fruit bowl on the table. I made mention of this one time and he replied that at his age he doesn’t buy any green bananas. That always stuck in my mind. I chuckle each time I select a banana now.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not giving up on life—just realizing I must make the most of my remaining days for they are numbered. The actual spring season is about 75 days away but my mind and body will be frozen in the winter of my life throughout the remaining calendar seasons that God grants me to see .  No mid-life crisis, way beyond  that. Each sunset will be a reminder of my life that I have lived.

Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?

Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time passing?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time ago?
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?

 

2 thoughts on “Winter Of My Life . . .”

  1. Thank you for capturing my thoughts and feelings so well. Sharing that winter of life and learning to tell time by when the Hummingbirds arrive at my feeder for breakfast. Often find myself sitting alone on the patio and chuckling quietly to myself. Sometimes because of the birds antics, sometimes because of some incredibly beautiful flower, often because I’m visiting memories of some long dead friend. Life’s winter is the time to savor spring, summer, and fall. It’s been a truly wonderful year, hasn’t it?

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